Since we are all different and all of our perspectives are different this is not a one size fits all kind of topic, but then again “one size fits all” never really fits everyone the same way, does it?
I think we have all heard that “women do all the housework,” or perhaps that “moms are the ones who mostly raise their children.” Though I don’t mind being praised for my hard work around the house or for what good little ones I am raising, I cannot in good conscience accept all of that credit. I think it’s a pretty grand assumption to make that women do it all and do it alone.
When I was growing up I watched my dad leave for work in the morning (if I was even up that early) and when he came home at night, his hands covered in the days dirt, he would mow the lawn. If the lawn was fine he would tend to the pool, or perhaps the gutters, maybe something in the garage or assist with my math homework and when everything was done he would sit down and put up his feet. I remember teasing my dad about his dirty hands, not realizing until I got older that beneath that dirt were two cracked and worn hands that supported our family.
Of course my mother was a huge role in my upbringing, she cleaned our home ceiling to floor, drove us everywhere we needed to go, entertained us with scavenger hunts and crafts, cooked our meals and filled our baths. I appreciate all of these things even more so now that I am a mother as well, but I know that the same social stigma surrounded that house which surrounds mine. That being the women, we do it all.
I have watched the father of my children go to work with tired eyes and come home covered head to toe in filth. He has gotten up at night with crying babies and let me sleep in when I feel like I need it. Despite my absence when I am at work or out at the store, my children are always fed, clean and happy upon my return. This is not to say I don’t wish that he would scrub the toilet sometimes, but hey, you win some and you lose some. He’s my partner in parenting, in laundry, in bills and in life. He makes me happy and gives me the strength to continue when I sometimes feel like I can’t go on another day.
This is not a one person job.
I am a woman who sweeps and mops. He is a man who mows the lawn and picks up dog poo. I am a woman who makes breakfast, he is a man who makes dinner. If it weren’t for him, I cannot be certain how long my days would be or how sleepless my nights… Maybe your situation is different, but before bashing your partner or allowing other people to by giving all of the credit to you maybe you should assess in what ways they do help you.
This is a partnership.