I swear, there’s no happy little stories that I share about my kids anymore. Almost everything is a complaint or a debate to something I’ve read online.
The reason? Because every time I get a paragraph into how cute they are or how lucky I am, they start to drive me mad! Right now for example, I was trying to take the twenty minutes before we started watching our “grown up show” to write about how lucky I am, what’s new and whatnot. No! They’ve all got to get out of bed and get into crap, throw bottles and stash bottles in funky places.
Just go to bed.
We went to dinner at my parents house tonight, grabbed McFlurrys (yes, boohoo to the junk), and came home for cartoons and a good night. You have been spoiled! Now do your part and go to fricken sleep.
I get it, I do. We chose to have kids and we knew that three was a lot and that three would be crazy. Never for a second have I regretted our decisions to be the young parents of three little boys. However, sometimes I want to shave my head, strip naked and run the streets screaming so that I can go get a few good nights of sleep in a mental institution. I find myself muttering, “I love my kids, I love my kids,” almost to try and connect my brain and mouth so that I don’t start hollering “why can’t you poo before you get a new diaper on?!”
Then I see people who are considering a third child, or I hear someone with one talking about how they want three, four, five kids and I want to smack them. “It’ll be so fun all the time, something always going on, never a dull moment.” You don’t know how right you are! It is so much fun watching them love and play with each other (when they’re not terrorizing one another instead, which is 90% of the time) but I’m sure your kids won’t be that way. Of course there will always be something going on, the lights when one of them refuses to sleep and wakes up the other two, fights, colds, dirty diapers, messy faces, crayon and sharpie on your walls and someone climbing a bookshelf that’s not bracketed to the wall. Try to get a shower in this house, it won’t last. Oh, and my favorite the “never a dull moment” line. You will be craving a minute of nothingness in the first few months because even your personal poos with be shared with your children. Sleep won’t even have the privilege of being dull.
Before I got cranky and deleted everything that I had put down, I was writing about how lucky I am to have three healthy boys. I am lucky. Lucky that they are here, lucky that they are so sweet and full of life, lucky that they have their health. But sometimes I want to tape them to the furniture and take a nap.