To a lot of people a shower is just a day to day routine to clean, but for a young mother like myself it’s the only thing standing between sanity and slipping into madness. My shower is my alone time, or at least that is how it’s supposed to be…
Yesterday I was grabbing for a smidgen of time to get myself put together in between baking a cake, decorating the house and making sure everything was party ready. About five minutes in my four year old thrusts himself into the bathroom to do a number two (no way I could say no). Commence the chit chat. We are going back and forth about the most random topics when he suggests I open the curtain so we can see each other while we talk, being totally in the nude I said “no way, Mommy is naked.” Obviously this doesn’t halt the conversation and only leads to a new series of topics to handle like the fact that I’m allowed to see him naked because I’m his mother (for the sick creeps out there, this is in reference to bath times and getting dressed). Post mommy-son talk we get into who is and who is not allowed to see other people naked, other people can’t see him, little boys can’t see little girls, etc. Then it happens…
“Well dad isn’t allowed to see you naked, you know why? Because boys can’t see girls naked.”
Not even thinking I reply, “well, dad has seen mommy naked.” Insert foot in mouth.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh fricken no.
My silence led to his little mind spinning away and I was lucky enough that he created his own situation in which that could have possibly happened. He went on to suggest that it must have occurred when I was in the shower, dad had to poo and fell going up the stairs, bursting into the bathroom and falling into the shower. “Yes,” I said, “I believe that’s exactly how it happened.”
Bottom line, my shower was not pleasant nor peaceful and I dodged the birds and the bees talk no thanks to myself.