If You Spill The Milk

Almost everyone is familiar with the phrase “there’s no use crying over spilled milk,” but who is it that cleans the mess?

I, like most people, was taught growing up that when you wrong someone it’s your duty to set things straight. So who cleans the milk, the one who spills it or the one it’s spilled on?

It’s been two months since I last talked to my mom, a heated and impersonal conversation over text that resulted in so many callous things to be said about me simply because I stood up and said the situation was “uncalled for.” And it was. Since then my oldest son has asked about her numerous times, telling me he misses her, and I can see where it’s hurting him which is killing me. People who don’t understand or know the situation from start to finish (since I was twelve until this point) try to persuade me to make first contact but the problem I have with that is as follows:

She spilled the milk. Not once, not twice and has never once tried to clean it up. She lets it soak deep into the carpet and watches, knowing that the deeper it sinks the sooner she can go back to acting like it had never happended at all.

My carpet is covered in milk. It’s sopping wet from years of lacking apologies and though it stinks, I’m not going to pretend the milk isn’t there anymore. I’m not going to plug my nose, shrug my shoulders and pretend that everything is fine. The longer it sits, the closer I get to throwing it away and forgetting about that damn rotten milk covered, no apologies, everything fixes its goddam self rug!


I’m frustrated as a mother and even more frustrated as a daughter. The irony that the same person who helped teach me to right my wrongs is sitting at home waiting for the milk to dry instead of cleaning it up is unbelievable, truly it is. Two months! I can’t go two days without my children…

I’m hoping for resolve and thankful for blog therapy, because writing about it helps where thinking about it doesn’t.

5 thoughts on “If You Spill The Milk

  1. Sometimes we have to bite our tongues, be the bigger person and make amends. Not just for yourself, but for your child/children. So,times people are set in their ways and this could be the case with your mother. There are no guarantees for tomorrow so go ahead and make up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been playing with the idea I’m just worried about being met with a dismissive or aggressive attitude. I couldn’t stomach hearing that she meant the things she said or that she thinks it wasn’t a big deal.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s