Everyone is guilty of it. Moms, dads and even just random people passing judgement on “that” mom. I try extremely hard not to judge other moms because I, myself, am still relatively new to this whole thing, but even I am guilty.
“That” mom is yelling at her child in the grocery store.
“That” mom is spanking her child in public.
“That” mom said no to the fifty cent candy.
But “that” mom is none of your business.
Just like every other mother in the world, that woman is trying to raise a well mannered, well behaved, human being. Did you hear “that” mom tell that child no fifteen times in a hushed tone? No, maybe you just heard her when she had finally had enough. Maybe you only noticed that her child was misbehaving when she tapped them on the butt and shouted, “that’s enough!” Maybe you think it would be easier if she just said yes to the $15.00 toy and the $1.00 chocolate bar.
I suppose that always saying yes to your children would be easier, less noisy and would disrupt other people significantly less. Until ten years later, when that child who has always gotten anything they wanted becomes a teenager with an overwhelming sense of entitlement. Or twenty years later, when that child becomes an ill mannered adult.
Personally, I try my very best not to yell at or spank my little man. It hurts my feelings one million times more than it could ever hurt his bum, but it teaches him that sometimes even Mommy can hit her breaking point. I used to spoil my son rotten and I never even noticed it until it was pointed out to me one day. He didn’t know the meaning of the word “no,” until after he turned two years old.
Once I started telling him that not every trip to the store came with a treat or a toy, there were probably moments when people looked at me as “that” mom. These people wouldn’t hear the number of times that I stopped pushing my cart and kindly explained why I was saying no. These people would only hear the moment when I told him we were going to leave and he was going to be spanked. These people don’t know that I’m full of empty threats and my son and I would talk it out on the way home until he understood. Undoubtedly, all of the things that people don’t know will lead them to cast judgement on the one thing that they think they do. You’re “that” mom because you showed for one second that you are human.
I’ll be “that” mom any day of the week because when my children are older and are full of respect for others and good manners, I’ll be “that proud mom.”